I took a brief respite from the brisk conference environment. I hopped the train and took it to the bay at the north edge of the city. Heavy dark clouds are coming in and there’s a wispy fog above the gentle waves. The ever-present breeze teases the flags. Folks are strolling along the waterfront, many pausing to take photos and soak in the view. It’s still possible to make out the golden gate bridge in the distance and a few brave boats bob out on the water.

I have so much to think about. We all continually absorb and process information, it happens all the time, but for whatever reason, it seems almost in overdrive at a conference. Folks have agreed with me that they would prefer there were two copies of themselves (at least!) to experience everything they can. There’s so much information that folks are presenting, there are so many insights to be gained from all the sessions and conversations. I visited the exhibit hall lined with cheerful posters visualizing interesting research. Bold colors, blocks of text, a familiar scientific format and row after row of passionate dialogue.

What will this conference look like a couple of decades down the line? How will the topics shift? Will they expand, contract or remain largely the same? How about the attendees? Will the amount expand, contract or remain largely the same? What ultimately serves the field? Too many attendees and the practicalities of venue space and management become even more non-trivial. Too few attendees and the variety of ideas and potential for collaboration is stunted. I feel lucky to have been present here for this snapshot in time. 

I don’t know yet what all I’ll take away from this conference. What will stick with me as the days and even years go by. What’s signal and what’s noise. I’ve had the privilege of meeting folks who have been coming to this conference for decades and who I imagine, will continue to come for decades more. The venues change, the topics covered shift, but in some sense, I hope, the core ideal will remain. 

It’s hard not to feel guilty, taking this time away. The conference machinery is still running full speed and I’ve stepped outside of it. What if there was something I should have seen or done that would help guide me in my career? What if I’ve missed that crucial interaction, that tiny piece of advice, that profound insight that was there for that moment had I been there to absorb it and is now lost forever?

In the end, I must accept that I need to rest sometimes.